In order to keep the score at 100, I decided to share this blog post from the American Psychological Association (APA). Because of how much that headline surprised me. It’s a possibility I don’t want to imagine.
My daughter and I have such a strong relationship that I believe she will come to me for support with almost any problem, now or in the future. I know that could be a delusional thought, and that puberty will overturn my assumptions (all you parents of teenagers, feel free to talk to me). But I feel like APA is backing me up.
More and more people are turning to AI chatbots for help with everything from work to meals to personal relationships. Teenagers are no exception. In addition to their ubiquity, chatbots tend to be set up to refrain from criticism and respond with warmth and affirmation.
They provide great support with high school homework and are always available and helpful thought partners. So it’s not hard to see why adolescents turn to them, especially when dealing with concerns they feel humiliated to bring up in front of their parents.
But it’s the ease and warmth with which AI tools are embraced that makes them so difficult to handle, says clinical psychologist Joshua Goodman.
“It doesn’t punish you or fire you or otherwise disrespect you,” Goodman said, adding, “It doesn’t help young people develop in a way that will be most beneficial to them in the long run.”
A related issue is that teenagers may be less likely to question AI’s instructions or recognize bias or flattery built into their design. And unlike conversations with a therapist or trusted friend, what teens share with chatbots can often be stored, analyzed, and used to train AI systems.
So the good news is that parents continue to have a huge influence on their children’s lives. While teens can, and do, turn to AI with questions, experts are adamant that parents are invaluable. With the knowledge and patience, parents who remain emotionally and socially engaged with their children can confidently work with their children to ensure that the use of AI is safe.
you did You read that correctly. They are already using the technology and the ban is unlikely to last. (Have you Googled anything lately?) Therefore, our power as parents lies in showing our children how to use it properly. APA experts suggest testing AI together, running queries in parallel through chatbots and discussing their responses.
Use output conversations to model critical thinking. And if you’re still learning about technology, okay. It’s less about giving lessons and more about keeping lines of communication open, Goodman says. “You don’t have to be an AI expert. If you don’t understand something, just be honest with your teen.”
In that sense, if you really want to limit the use of boundaries, remember that boundaries work best when your teen participates in setting them, Amber W. Childs said. “They can better understand the reasoning behind it, and they’re much more likely to follow it.”
Suggested strategies include technology-free mealtimes, agreed-upon topics that require human discussion, and simple check-ins about children’s use of AI.
And beware of red flags. The APA notes that professional support may be essential, especially when children are discussing self-harm, severe depression, and suicide with AI chatbots. Children have a supportive community around them, such as their school.
Also, keep an eye out for teen AI activity. Teens who call chatbots friends, get frustrated when they don’t have access to AI, or start to shy away from real-life relationships may need more than just conversation.
