Dear Eric: I’m becoming more and more scared of AI. Some of my family and friends casually upload their personal images and have them altered by AI. I’ve never talked about my aversion to AI because that’s their prerogative.
But recently, several family members uploaded a group photo that included me and generated a light-hearted and silly AI image. This bothered me so much that I said something to one of the family members who did it. I told them that although I knew they had no malicious intent and that the images were light-hearted and fun, I did not want to upload my images or those of my family to the AI because it made me feel very uncomfortable. I felt completely stupid no matter what I said.
Now, I’m worried that other images I’ve shared or have shared could leave me open to this kind of flirtatious treatment from literally anyone in my circle of friends and family, especially when it comes to my children.
I don’t do social media. I have been away from all social media for over 6 years. It all scares me, and to be honest, I thought everyone knew about me. You may have heard or read about AI using images for deepfakes, art, pornography, and collecting personal data (such as location tags) from images.
If I don’t have a social media account, is there a good way to set boundaries like this and a tagline that explicitly states it? Or is it a way to respectfully tell my friends and family without making it seem like I’m from the stone age sitting in a cave and judging them and their life choices?
– Millennium Neanderthals
Dear Millennials: AI is new and unfortunately there is no common practice around it. Therefore, you will feel more at ease if you proactively talk to your family and friends about the image of yourself and your children. If you want to send them out all at once, it’s a good idea to include one line in a holiday letter, etc. However, you can also bring it up in casual conversation. “I’ve been thinking a lot about AI. I know it’s appealing to a lot of people, but I never want images of me or my family uploaded. I’m just letting everyone know.”
If you don’t want to go through your entire Rolodex (which I don’t recommend), you may have to accept that this doesn’t happen every day, so the risk of leaving it alone is relatively lower than sending out a bunch of breaking news.
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Dear Eric: My wife uses too much perfume after reading what Coco Chanel said about perfume. I can’t encourage her to reduce her usage. Do you have any suggestions?
– Too many good things
Dear Too Many: It depends on whether this is a matter of personal preference, whether your tastes and hers don’t match, or whether the smell bothers you. If it’s the former, you may need to keep it alive. If it’s the latter, communicate it in a way that focuses on your experience rather than what she’s doing “wrong.” For example, you might say, “The strength of your perfume irritates my sinuses, so could you please only wear it when I go out?” However, you should tailor your request to your specific perfume issue.
Fragrance bothers many people. You’re not alone. You may also have allergies or other upper respiratory problems. For some people, too strong a scent can cause headaches or worse. Think about how perfume bothers you and ask her to help you find a compromise that will make you both happy.
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Dear Eric: I read the case of the “Sick and Worried Mom” case about talking to your daughters and your employer about the support you need to manage your current medical care. Regarding her job, you rightly encouraged her to speak to human resources.
Your other advice was to consult an employment attorney if HR is not an option. That’s good professional advice. However, consulting a lawyer about this issue can be expensive for basic advice. Additional options also exist for those employed by organizations that do not have human resources professionals.
1. Ask your family and friends to do some research. (She could easily do this herself, but there’s no need to add another task.)
2. Find an HR consultant to advise you on how to get started. This may be faster than a more affordable lawyer. You can find them online or through your local human resources professional association.
– Further resources
Dear Resources: Thank you for your follow-up. You’re right; there may be lower cost options that don’t cost the letter writer valuable time.
