People are surrendering their most powerful tool to AI: their ability to think.
On TikTok and Substack, users are posting about how they’ve come to rely on AI, using it to make basic, personal life decisions like what to eat, what to wear, how to express messages to friends, and how to navigate rocky relationships.
What seems like a harmless convenience is becoming more and more common. And researchers say that could have serious consequences. The more people rely on AI to make decisions, the less they will practice making difficult decisions themselves.
Over time, it risks weakening the cognitive and social skills that people develop through experience, uncertainty, and trial and error. In more extreme cases, AI researchers say it could begin to shape not only human behavior but also the beliefs we hold.
“We would like to believe that we are stronger because of us. [AI] “We’re giving them the tools,” said Cornelia C. Walther, a Wharton senior fellow and pro-social AI researcher, “but the reality is we’re giving them more power than ever before.”
“We’re only half a step away from addiction, and we’re likely to fall into full-blown addiction in the not-too-distant future,” she says.
Should I stay or leave?
Carolyn Yu, a former software engineer who worked in the technology industry for nine years until mid-2024, saw first-hand the appeal of decision-making chatbots.
Yoo had been wrestling with the question of whether to quit the tech industry for months before turning to Anthropic’s chatbot. Claude, help me. She was spending up to two to three hours a day asking the chatbot to plan different versions of her future.
“I kept seeking the reassurance of AI to see if this was a good life choice,” she says.
“I talk to new people every day and even if I feel a little anxious, I keep coming back to it,” she said.
Carolyn Yeo. Courtesy of Carolyn Yeo
Other users say they are turning to chatbots to improve their relationships.
In a Substack post titled “I delegated my decisions to AI, and so do others,” financial writer and comedian Dominic Frisbie explained how he uploaded all of his WhatsApp conversations with his ex-partner in search of advice.
“Even after we broke up, I couldn’t get out of the toxic relationship. At one point, I thought I was going crazy,” he writes.
The bot’s explanation of their relationship and personality type ultimately gave him a clear path forward.
Some apps capitalize on indecision by offering AI tools that explicitly claim to help make decisions on your behalf. Moot is one example.
An AI-powered decision-making app launched earlier this year allows users to ask questions, which are then discussed by different AI personas and voted on the best way forward.
The rise of “cognitive surrender”
Researchers worry that delegating too much decision-making to AI could gradually weaken the critical thinking and judgment skills that support independent thinking.
Over time, people may become less comfortable with uncertainty, less accustomed to weighing competing options, and more likely to defer to AI rather than trust their own judgment.
John Nosta, founder of innovation think tank NostaLab, warned that over-reliance on AI could create a kind of “cognitive codependency”, where people become more productive in the short term but silently lose the fundamental skills that the technology is replacing.
Vivienne Ming, theoretical neuroscientist and founder of Socos Labs, described this process as a classic case of “use it or lose it.”
She worries that by repeatedly outsourcing mental effort to AI, people will engage in less of the kind of thinking that enhances memory, attention, learning, and decision-making over time.
Some researchers say the impact could be even wider. What starts with everyday choices can ultimately shape the way people think about relationships, politics, and society.
Wharton School researchers call this phenomenon “cognitive surrender,” in which users shift from treating AI as a tool to treating it as an authority, accepting the AI’s answers rather than actively evaluating them.
Stephen Shaw, a postdoctoral fellow in marketing at Wharton, said people could adopt ideas generated by AI without fully processing them, becoming “passive followers of ideas they haven’t thought about.”
being sucked in
So why is it so hard to resist AI in the first place, and why do we rely on it to make life decisions?
Well, the AI doesn’t get tired, rushed, or uncomfortable. Their ability to respond instantly and project a sense of security within seconds often makes them an attractive alternative to a friend or partner.
Joanna Stern, NBC’s chief technology analyst and author of “I Am Not a Robot,” said she’s been using AI throughout her work and personal life for a year, but the most disturbing thing she saw was how it interacted with computers.
“Even people who seem well-adjusted can get sucked into the world,” Stern said in a recent interview on journalist Kara Swisher’s podcast.
But your flattering AI best friend isn’t necessarily good for your long-term interpersonal skills.
“When AI The system is optimized to pleaseThey erode the very feedback loops by which we learn how to navigate the social world,” said Anat Perry, Helen Putnam Research Fellow at Harvard University.
“Over time, this could recalibrate what kind of feedback people expect and make honest human responses seem unnecessarily harsh in comparison,” she says.
Some users described using AI to make life decisions. Jaap Arrians/NurPhoto (via Getty Images)
“Sit in your own uncertainty.”
For Yoo, moving away from AI meant relearning how to sit with uncertainty rather than arriving at an answer right away.
She began to rely more on notebooks, meditation, group writing, and conversations with other people.
“The whole purpose is to sit in our own uncertainty and make our own decisions,” she said. “That’s the only way you can really feel honest about your choices.”
Carolyn Yeo. Courtesy of Carolyn Yeo
Still, some users argue that outsourcing some of the decision-making to AI can help them make better decisions and avoid mistakes they might regret.
As Frisbie writes on Substack, “I’m done with bad decisions. I’ve made enough bad decisions in one lifetime. I’m 56 years old now. I just want to make the best choices and make the next 30, 40 years, or whatever time I have left, really good.”