AI now exists at two speeds.
It runs in the fifth gear, the creator's speed. People like Sam Altman, Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg compete to build machines that are smarter than humans. Super intelligence. Agi. Maybe it's a dream. Maybe it's a tech buddy. Either way, it's moving fast.
Then I'm running in second gear for the rest of the game. Millions are quietly testing what AI can do in everyday life. Creating emails, document summary, and translation of medical tests. And more and more, I am using AI as a therapist.
That's what I did recently. Despite my reluctance to share personal details with the chatbot, I decided to talk to Grok, a large language model for Elon Musk's Company, about one of the most emotionally complicated things in my life: my relationship with my mother.
I'm in my 40s. I'm a father. I live in New York. My mother lives in the Yaund in Cameroon, about 6,000 miles away. Still, she still wants to guide all my moves. She wants to be consulted before I make any important decisions. She expects influence. When she is not stored in the loop, she gets cold.
I spent years trying to explain to her that I am a grown man who can make my choices. However, our conversations often end with her suling. She does the same thing as my brother.
So I opened Grok and typed something like this: My relationship with my mother is frustrated and choking. She wants to speak out to everything. When she is not informed of something, she emotionally closes down.
Glock responded quickly with empathy. After that, I diagnosed the situation. After that, I gave advice.
The first thing that hit me was Groke's recognition of the cultural context. I live in the US and picked up that my mother lives in Cameroon, where I grew up. And it put our dynamic stuff together like this:
“In an African context like Cameroon, family duties, parental authority are strong, rooted in collectivism and traditions that elders guide even adult children.”
After that, it was in contrast to my American life. “In the US, individual autonomy comes first, conflicts with her approach and it feels like her actions control or abuse you.”
There was “abuse” there. A word I've never used. Groke put it in my mouth. I've verified it, but probably too much.
Unlike human therapists, Glock did not recommend that I reflect on myself. I didn't ask. It didn't challenge me. It framed me as a victim. The only victim. And it is a sharp divergence from human care.
Among Grok's suggestions were familiar treatment techniques.
Sets the boundary.
Acknowledge your feelings.
Write a letter to your mom (but don't send it “Please burn or shred it safely”).
In the letter I was encouraged to write, “I will release and hurt your control.” It's as if those words cut off years of emotional entanglement.
The problem was not a proposal. It was a tone. It felt like Grok was trying to make me happy. The goal seemed to be emotional relief rather than introspection. The more I engaged in it, the more I realized: Grok is not here to challenge me. It's here to validate me.
I saw a human therapist. Unlike Grok, they didn't automatically frame me as a victim. They questioned my pattern. They challenged me to explore why I kept going to the same place emotionally. They complicated the story.
In Grok, the story was simple:
You are hurt.
You deserve protection.
Here's how you can feel better:
That didn't ask me what I was missing. I never asked how I was part of the problem.
My experiences are alongside recent research at Stanford University. This warns that AI tools for mental health can “provide false comfort.” Researchers have found that many AI systems “underdiagnose excessive pathological or diagnosis.” Especially when dealing with users from a wide range of cultural backgrounds.
They also note that while AI may provide empathy, it lacks true professional accountability, training, and moral nuances, and can reinforce bias that encourages people to stay in one emotional identity: often those of the victim.
So, will I use Grok again?
Be honest? yes.
If I'm having a bad day and want someone (or something) to make me feel less lonely, Grok will help me. It gives frustration a structure. It places words on emotions. It helps to carry emotional loads.
It's a digital coping mechanism, a kind of chatbot clutch.
But if I'm looking for change, not just comfort? If I want the truth more than a relief, then accountability more than verification? No, Grok is not enough. A good therapist might challenge me to break the loop. Glock helps me survive in it.
